Ok,i know i haven't poseted a journel in a while but i've been really busy lately. I'm just posting another one to rant and talk the way I want to so nah

Ok so these last couple of weeks have been pretty ok-ish (When i'm playing my video games ONLY) and they suck like there's no tomorrow! First off i have been feeling very under the weather and my Hime (Trey) wants to meet me in person soon. 'cause we were introduced VIA friend and we've been talking/texting each other for a while *(we've know each other since to end of july,but we finally decided we wanted to get closer aroun the middle of November)* and he texts me saying he wants to visit me and can visit me soon. So i picked April fourth. Cause then he could visit me and my buddy.(She usually haves her birthday parties then, so i'm gonna picke her brain for advice)But at the same time i'm so nervous AT the thought i'm gonna see him that i don't wanna see him. so i'm totally divided on that D:

But really that's the only thing that's been making me like happy,that Bri,and my WoW game(for those of you that don't know it's another short thingy for: World Of Warcraft) Because i found a realm there where i can RP (role-play) And i love to RP so it's like, a lot of fun. Just being able to get away from everything that's happening makes me happy now.

Because i'm completely overworked at work. It's like the boss thinks i'm superman or something! I can't take care of lifting,cleaning and all the other hard work they expect us to do,when they expect me to be able to greet and take care of like 30 customers at once! Ok,i can take care of like maybe,just MAYBE,10,like at the most. But she doesn't care. She and the other managers are only here for a paycheck and they wouldn't help me unless they liked my anyway( Which they don't) 'cause i argue with them...sometimes and i refuse to kiss their butts. they might be my managers but they aren't worth it

Also im really jealous of my friend's relationship with her boyfriend. They make each other really happy and stuff. But i'm still sorta muddling through in my possible maybe bofriend and our's relationship. and it doesn't make him popular with my parents that he's like ten years older than me and he's intrested in me.I think if we do have a relationship together the age thing might be a problem but one we can handle. But i know a woman who has a husband 15 years older than she is and they've been happily married for like,20 years now she said.

At the same time though i feel so depressed that i can't seem to try to smile. it seems like when i smile all the things that have been happening over the weeks catch up to me and take it away. I know it sounds emo, but it's the truth. With the move,the stupid ac,and work,and i can't spend time with my friends. it seems like i'm falling down without a parachute and that when i land i'll breake like glass into a thousand ,thousand pieces and just like humpty-dumpty i won't be put back together again. I don't know what to do,i don't know where i'm going. But i'd rather go down kicking and screaming than go quietly!